My life feels like a teeter-totter; swaying back and forth between utter jubilation at the thought of becoming the mother of 3, to wanting to duck-tape my kids to their beds, hostage style. Last week, after an emotion-filled episode of Brothers & Sisters, I found myself crying at the preview for this Sunday's episode. Yes, a 30 second clip of the story to come had me doing the ugly cry. This morning I was grinning ear to ear when Salt 'n' Pepa's "Whatta Man" came on the radio, and I still knew every single word (what a classic). Last night I spazzed out on my 11 year old because he was watching T.V. 17 minutes past his bedtime. Today, I'm like a bright ray of sunshine, unless you do something to piss me off, and then watch out, I just may throw a Dunkin Donuts cup at your head. God I LOVE being pregnant!
It really is somewhat of a cruel joke. Women are possessed with this amazing ability to conceive life, nurture it, and then push it out of a tiny hole that shouldn't see anything bigger then...well you can fill in the blank. But with this amazing gift, we are also bestowed fluctuating surges of hormones, insomnia, and flatulation that you can only blame on the dog but so many times. Pregnancy prepares you for the myriad of emotions you will face once you actually give birth to and raise this precious child. Too bad no one prepared my husband. That poor man had to endure my pre-partum depression last time around, but I'm not sure he would trade my sadness for the limb-removing barracuda that I've become.
Luckily I can point to a bevy of articles that suggest I'm not crazy; I'm just reacting to the insane amounts of estrogen that is being pumped into my body. BabyCenter.com says that "Some moms-to-be experience heightened emotions, both good and bad; others feel more depressed or anxious. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close." Well lucky me I'm in week 10! God I hope my insanity subsides or you might just see me as the latest YouTube sensation titled "Crazy Pregnant Mom Slaps the Cashier at Target with Her Own Shoe".
If you are feeling the way I am (I hope not or there might be a lot of pregnant women behind bars) you can thank the following hormones for your new found craziness: Estrogen, Progesterone, Human placental lactogen (HPL), Relaxin ( don't confuse with Chillaxin!), Oxytocin, Prolactin, luteinizing Hormone (LH), follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), and Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), just to name a few. No wonder I feel like I've developed multiple personalities; I have enough hormones flowing through me to be the star of my own sci-fi movie. I'm going to try and be mindful of my emotional highs and lows, as they do impact the people who love me. However, if you happen to see me in the grocery store, I would quickly walk in the other direction. You never know which "Nacia" you might get.
What insane things has pregnancy led you to do?
Trying to hold it together from Boyland,