My life feels like a teeter-totter; swaying back and forth between utter jubilation at the thought of becoming the mother of 3, to wanting to duck-tape my kids to their beds, hostage style. Last week, after an emotion-filled episode of Brothers & Sisters, I found myself crying at the preview for this Sunday's episode. Yes, a 30 second clip of the story to come had me doing the ugly cry. This morning I was grinning ear to ear when Salt 'n' Pepa's "Whatta Man" came on the radio, and I still knew every single word (what a classic). Last night I spazzed out on my 11 year old because he was watching T.V. 17 minutes past his bedtime. Today, I'm like a bright ray of sunshine, unless you do something to piss me off, and then watch out, I just may throw a Dunkin Donuts cup at your head. God I LOVE being pregnant!
It really is somewhat of a cruel joke. Women are possessed with this amazing ability to conceive life, nurture it, and then push it out of a tiny hole that shouldn't see anything bigger then...well you can fill in the blank. But with this amazing gift, we are also bestowed fluctuating surges of hormones, insomnia, and flatulation that you can only blame on the dog but so many times. Pregnancy prepares you for the myriad of emotions you will face once you actually give birth to and raise this precious child. Too bad no one prepared my husband. That poor man had to endure my pre-partum depression last time around, but I'm not sure he would trade my sadness for the limb-removing barracuda that I've become.
Luckily I can point to a bevy of articles that suggest I'm not crazy; I'm just reacting to the insane amounts of estrogen that is being pumped into my body.BabyCenter.com says that "Some moms-to-be experience heightened emotions, both good and bad; others feel more depressed or anxious. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close." Well lucky me I'm in week 10! God I hope my insanity subsides or you might just see me as the latest YouTube sensation titled "Crazy Pregnant Mom Slaps the Cashier at Target with Her Own Shoe".
So stop looking at me like I'm a fresh-baked Cinnamon Raisin bagel that you wanna dunk your munchkin into! It kills me that guy’s still give me the "I wanna take you out back and do you" eye. If only they knew.
I live in a very small town in upstate NY. We only have 1 stop light, 1 major grocery store, and 1 Dunkin Donuts, where I frequent often. A few weeks ago a new guy started working there. Now I know you’re probably thinking "So what Nacia, why is that at all relevant?" Well the new D&D guy happens to be pretty attractive Black man (aside from the fact that he works slinging coffee and bagels). He kind of sticks out amongst the guy with only 4 teeth and the pimple-faced teenager. Now of course, residing in a community where I know every Black person, it is somewhat shocking when a new one moves in. Whenever I see another person of color in Red Hook I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach and give them a look like "Its ok you're not alone, I feel you." You might think this is silly, but I get the same shocked expression which quickly changes to relief. But I'm digressing...
So now Mr. Chocolate D&D man gives me the eye every time I walk in that place. While it's very flattering, I feel kind of guilty since I am so very taken. I try to avoid looking at him at all costs, to evade any kind of signal that I would be interested. But each time I go in to get my French Vanilla coffee, light and sweet, I can’t help but feeling that he wishes I ordered one like him… strong and black.
A similar situation happened a few weeks ago at my husband's best-friend's 30th birthday party. The party was at a local bar (which was close to torture for me). We were surrounded by other good-looking 30 something’s, beer, and peanut shells strewn on the floor. What could be better? Usually I would be slinging back some brews, talking much too loudly, and innocently flirting with the guys from the group. However, on this occasion, since I was with child, I was sipping seltzer water, speaking unusually timidly, and avoiding eye-contact with anyone of the opposite sex (besides my hubby). See at this point, even though I am highly aware that my sweet little one is slowly forming in to the size of a pea, to an on-looker I just look like a dull wall flower. But that didn't stop the stares of one of the party-goers. He was a friend of the birthday boy, but I didn't know him. While talking to my friend, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that this dude kept looking over at me. You know the look, the one that says, “If you and I meet eyes 3 times I’m going nonchalantly start talking about how weird it is that we are walking on peanut shells, or something equally lame, just so I have and excuse to talk to you.” I thought it was in my head, so I continued on with my conversation. But after glance #2 I began to get uncomfortable. Under any other circumstance this would have been an amusing interaction. I might have smiled politely and then made my way over to my husband (who had already imbibed a liter of beer) and shown the dude I am soooo taken, but am still flattered that he wanted me. Instead I turned to my friend and bashfully told her I thought this guy was after my goodies. Normally, I would have relished in the fact that another man found me attractive, but with a child growing in me, I felt weird and awkward. By the end of the night the googly eyes subsided and I was back to thanking the heavens I was no longer getting unwanted attention.
Have you ever been hit on while you were pregnant?
I currently spend my days watching more hours of Nickelodeon than Charlie Sheen pays prostitutes or lawyers. I consider myself a pre-school television aficionado; therefore I believe I have the authority to speak upon the insanity that is flooding our children's airways.
This thoughtful, but sometimes troublesome turtle has a slew of friends who are always by his side. Which is why it is somewhat disconcerting how unfairly these furry peeps are treated. For instance Franklin's BFF, who plays with him everyday down by the pond, has the generic name Bear. His other friends Duck, Beaver, Fox, Goose, and Skunk apparently were not important enough to get real names either. It just goes to show you this is Franklin's hood; you only get a name if he deems you worthy.
The Fresh Beat Band
This show features United Colors of Benetton style high school students who clearly should have graduated at least 10 years ago. I understand child labor laws and what-not so I will let that slide. I do like the upbeat music and "fresh" dance moves these "kids" have. I can also appreciate the fact that the token Black dude isn't beat-boxing or spitting dope rhymes. Did they really have to choose the mid-western dorkfest as the DJ of the group? Betty White is more gangsta then this doofus (no really check out the link), but I guess the creators just wanted to avoid stereotyping the Black character as the hip cool one. I myself would have chosen the Latina "Kiki" over the freakishly tall "Twist", but hey what do I know.
These imaginative neighbors engage in awesome adventures each afternoon, without leaving the comfort of their yards. The characters include "Pablo" the creative and impetuous penguin, "Tyrone" the laid-back moose," Tasha" the yellow girlie-girl hippo, "Austin" a purple kangaroo and newest crew member, and lastly Uniqua, a pink and purple polka-dotted umm...what the hell is Uniqua??? To me she is the sassy "sista" of the group that keeps these kids in line. She's got an attitude and fierce voice that screams "I've seen some shit". Why else would she be the only character to appear in every episode? So can someone please explain to me why she couldn't have been a fabulous Fox or even a cute Kitty. Why the nondescript "unique" exterior for the only Black girl in the group. Probably because they couldn't figure out how to combine an ethnic hair-do with a non-threatening animal. Stay strong Uniqua!
Max & Ruby
If you've read my blog before you would know that I have probably seen every single episode of this annoying excuse for children's entertainment. My issues with this show stem from the fact that my son Bryson could watch an 8 hour marathon without blinking. The sheer ridiculousness of this show has led me to create a list of reasons why this show irks me. (Feel free to add to it):
1. Max is the naughtiest 3 year old rabbit you could ever meet. Yet at the end of each episode his matronly and pushy 7 year old sister is always made to look like the asshat who should have listened to her all-knowing sibling.
2. During each episode Max is only able to say 1 or 2 words. They are usually only 1 syllable and in retrospect the key to solving whatever dilemma Ruby is facing. I'm sorry Nick Jr but have your creators ever spoken to a three year old? I can you that tell they normally use more then 1 word per day but aren't inclined to be savant masterminds. Thanks for teaching our youth to reach for the stars.
3. Ruby, oh where do I begin? She takes the girlie dumb stereotype to a whole-- notha-- level (channeling Eugene Struthers). Her life is consumed with dolls, being a princess, cleaning up after her messy brother, and waiting on him hand and foot. I mean what kind of example does this set for young girls? (Girls, you should always listen to men even if they are younger or stupider then you!)
4. Last, but never the least, where in God's green earth are their parents?!?!? Since when isn't CPS called for a 7 year old being the sole provider and care-giver for a 3 year old child? WTF? So occasionally their hippy-dippy free-spirited grandmother stops by to reinforce Max's superior intellect, but usually Ruby is the "adult" in charge.
While Nick's shows can be valid forms of entertainment they can also send your kids into a delusional world of unrealistic, sexist, and stereotypical behavior.