Last week I got a startling call from my son's teacher. When I answered, her pleasant voice was on the other end with the same saccharine tone she must use to subdue a boisterous class of 5th graders. I responded with the same upbeat chipper voice, fully knowing that she was calling to tell me how wonderful my son was doing in school, as she often gave "good phone calls". To my surprise the following sentence sent a wave of shock through my body and caused me to blurt out "WHAT!?" with questionable insanity. "Tyler got punched at school today", she quickly shared. At this point in time my mind went through a rapid slew of questions including "Are you kidding me?, "Where was he hit?, and "Who is the little bastard who did this?".
Ms. R went on to tell me that while waiting for afternoon dismissal she noticed some commotion on her bus line. When she walked over to inspect the situation she saw my sweet boy doubled over in agony. She didn't see what transpired before the blow, but everyone was clearly pointing to a boy whom I'll refer to as "The Prince of Darkness". Now I know that name might seem a bit harsh, but let your kid get socked in the stomach and see how forgiving you are.
Ms. R explained that she pulled Ty aside and asked him what led to the altercation. Now my son is a very truthful kid, almost to a fault. But many times he tries to protect people who have done him wrong, perhaps in fear that they will be mad at him or in fear that I will go bat-shit crazy on their ass. Either assumption is not far-fetched. When she asked Ty what happened, he reluctantly gave up his attacker’s name but didn't divulge the details of the situation. She asked that I speak to him when he got home to find out what really happened.
A few minutes later my son got off the bus and I quickly inspected him for any signs of distress. I asked him how his day was and the truth was written all over his face. I told him that Ms. R had called and that she needed to know what really happened, as did I. After some hemming and hawing Ty explained that one of the girls in his class was wearing a Breast Cancer Awareness Bracelet, that apparently sparked some 5th grade male humor consisting of something like "Oh you must like Boobs". I have always taught my son that he should never be a part of bullying and if he sees someone who is being picked on he should stand up for them and explain to his peers it's not cool.
By God I've done something right, because that's exactly what he did. Apparently the "Prince of Darkness" was unfazed by Ty's peacekeeping words, and went on to say "I like boobs too". Now my son is not usually the smart-ass type (that role is reserved for my 4 year old), but I guess the ball-busting has worn off on him because Ty retorted with, "I bet your girlfriend doesn't even have boobs!" BAZINGA! This remark apparently sent the "Prince of Darkness" over the edge, because in the next moment his fist was firmly planted in my son's gut.
I must say that I was so proud of my little man. I was starting to get nervous about the impending scariness of middle school, but I had no idea this adolescence crap would rear its ugly head at the end of 5th grade. My hubby and I both shared our pride with him and told him that no one should ever lay their hands on him. Though we in no way support fighting, we also recognize that he is the type of kid who might have let himself get pummeled to avoid "fighting back" and getting into trouble. We explained that if he is ever in that situation again he has our permission to defend himself, even if the school reprimands him for it. His safety is what's most important.
Unfortunately this story does not conclude the way I had anticipated. The "Prince of Darkness" and Ty were both spoken to by their principal. He expressed his gratitude for Ty's bravery and disapproval for the bully's actions. However, to my shock and surprise neither the "Prince of Darkness" nor his parents (whom I have met) have yet to offer even a simple "I'm sorry". Though at this point, a week later, my son has forgiven and forgotten (a truly male characteristic). I believe when we make a mistake, even if unintentional, it our responsibility to own up to it and show remorse for the action. It amazes me that his parents have not instilled the same type of accountable behavior. I am so close to calling them to vocalize my disappointment at how this situation was handled, but at the same time don't want to cause anymore issues if my son is over it and back to being buddies with this kid.
If your kid was punched by a bully would you demand an apology?
Nobody Messes With My Kid in Boyland,
