Makin' News Monday: Mom Arrested for Sending Kid to Better School

Kelly Williams-Bolar, from Ohio, is at the center of a controversy regarding the education of her children. For those who haven't heard about this story here are the facts:

• She and her daughters live in Akron subsidized housing
• For 2 years she sent her 2 children to a school located in the Copley-Fairlawn school district where her father lived
• She falsified records, claiming they partially resided with their grandfather
• In a statement given by her father she decided to send her children there for safety issues, not for a better education. Via Change.org:

Edward Williams, Kelley Williams-Bolar's father, called to clarify that her decision to enroll her children in the suburban district had nothing to do with the academic quality of the school and was because of safety issues. Williams-Bolar's house had been broken into and she'd had to file 12 different police reports due to crime in the area, he said.

•  Private investigators filmed her dropping her kids off to a bus stop near her fathers home
• When the district realized she what was going on they began sending her bills for $800 a month in school tuition, they claim she ignored the bills
• The district says she owes $30,500 to cover the cost of the education that was provided
• Prosecutors charged her with multiple felonies, including grand theft and tampering with records
• She was found guilty and sentenced to 10 days in jail, 80 hours of community service and 3 years probation
• She is currently a teaching assistant for special needs children and pursuing her teaching degree
• Under Ohio state law she will no longer be allowed to obtain a teaching license since she has a felony criminal record

Here's my take on the situation. If you ignore the underlying racial and socioeconomic issues of making a single Black mom from the projects an example to others, and the ineptitude of our country to provide EQUAL education to ALL our children, what are you left with? A misappropriation of money.

Kelly pays rent, which goes towards school taxes in her district, but her kids don't actually go to that school. Her father pays school taxes in his district, but doesn't have any children to attend his school. Why not split the loss by making Kelley pay the difference between her district's taxes and her father's? That would be a simple solution to the problem, that doesn't involve a mother's hard work going down the drain.

My other issue with this story are the charges; the prosecutor has discretion when filing them. The law is black and white, but his decisions are not. They are based on his own personal views coupled with precedented cases. He could have decided to charge her with a misdemeanor, which would not have affected her ability to obtain a teaching license (which I am assuming she will need to be able to afford to move from the projects). It would have allowed her to be punished for breaking the law, without jeopardizing her career and livelihood. The jury would have still found her guilty and the judge could have delivered a more appropriate sentence.

What do you think? Did the punishment fit the crime? 

Appalled From Boyland,

 

4 COMMENTS

The Many Faces Of Nolan

I have been attempting to catch my son's elusive smile on camera for about 3 weeks now. However, each time his sweet little lips curl up, as soon as I click the button they go right into a sour puss . I've stuck to my guns and now I present for your viewing pleasure the cutest damn thing I've ever seen (and no I'm not biased!)

Unimpressed 

Mildly Interested

 

 Slightly Amused

 

 Shit-Eating Grin

 

Your Welcome From Boyland,

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Mother Nature Knows Her S**t

A few days ago Bryson began doing something that most mothers of newborns fear...coughing. Couple that with the fact that he can't keep his hands (or lips) off the baby, and we have a recipe for disaster. I tell him constantly, "Wash your hands. Don't breathe on the baby. Don't even LOOK at the baby". I guess shouldn't be so shocked that my 5 year old ignored EVERYTHING that I said.

Now it's been two days since Nolan took a trip to congestion junction. His nose is running like it stole something, and his chest sounds like he ate a small purring kitten. Why couldn't Bryson keep his contagious little lips off him!

We recently found a new pediatrician, that my OB mid-wife, Suzanne, had recommended. She knew our concerns about blindly administering vaccines and how our previous healthcare provider for the kids had basically bullied me into giving Tyler his last round of DTaP (diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis) shots. So a few months back we interviewed the new doctor hoping he would be a good fit. After meeting him I realized  it was the first time I had met a physician who valued and respected a mothers intuition. He was not trying to push the latest drug that his rep dropped off, nor was he stuck in some antiquated mindset that fostered the idea that the doctor is ALWAYS right.

Behind his reception desk was like a homeopathic wonderland, filled with probiotics, natural oils, and nothing with the name Merck on it. On the last well check-up for Nolan, he had suggested we get some tea tree oil, which medicinal properties can include:

Expectorant and balsamic characteristics, which are especially beneficial in the case of throat or chest infections, having a generally soothing and clearing (mucus-expelling) effect on the entire respiratory tract. It is also effective against head colds.

For the last two days I have been rubbing a few drops on Nolan's chest every two hours. It has given him  temporary relief, but his harsh, barky cough quickly returns.

Today we went in for his 8 week check-up and to get him on the road to health. He diagnosed Nolan with Bronchiolitis, which "is a common illness of the respiratory tract caused by an infection that affects the tiny airways, called the bronchioles, that lead to the lungs." He also noticed a rosy irritation on his cheeks, most likely caused by eczema which both Bryson and I had.

Thankfully the rest of Nolan's health was right on point; weighing 13 lbs 2.5 oz and measuring 23 3/4 inches long.

After a very thorough visit we left there with a numbered list of natural and man-made ways to fight this infection and get my baby feeling better.

1) Albuteral Nebulizer Treatment for Wheezing

- We already have the nebulizer and the albuteral since both I and Bryson have asthma, but he did give us extra tubing and a face mask for the baby.

2) Chest Rub with Desert Essence Tea Tree Oil

3)  Ayr Saline Nose Drops

4) Probiotics by Bio Gaia
-a "simple, safe and convenient way to reduce colic, to improve digestive health and function and to boost immunity."

5) 8000 iu of Vitamin D for me (gets transferred through my breast milk)

6) Enhinacea extract drops for me (from my midwife, also goes through milk)

7) EpiCeram skin cream for his cheeks

The only thing he charged me for was the Priobiotic (which at $32 was a steal). I feel like I am now armed with a natural arsenal to defeat this mighty infection. Hopefully Nolan will be leaving snot city very soon.

Praying for Good Health from Boyland,

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Baby Nolan Week 7: No I will NOT Poop!

I hate winter. I haven't left the house in 4 days. The snow in the northeast has sent me into a permanent hibernation. We only have one car with 4 wheel drive, so while my husband gets to escape to his kid-less job, I've been stuck inside with all 3 boys. Thankfully Tyler managed to entertain Bryson for most of the day Tuesday, which allowed me to do fun things like laundry and tidying up the garage.

Yesterday I prayed that the snow would let up long enough to get Tyler off to school. My road was like a winter-wonderland---complete with an icy death trap. Thankfully our neighbor  is a teacher and has a daughter in the same grade as Ty. He took them to school so I could avoid having nightmarish flashes of his bus plummeting down into a snowy embankment. Did I say how much I despise winter?

Nolan is growing bigger by the minute--he eats like a prize fighter training for the match of his life. At the last weigh in he was tipping the scales at 13lbs 6oz, granted that's with pj's on, but suffice to say this boy is NOT going hungry.

He cracked his first non-gassy, non-sleeping smile last week---I almost lost it. There is just something so amazing about watching their face go from a blank stare to a full-on toothless grin. I've attempted and failed many times to capture it in a picture. I try so hard to whip out the camera as soon as I see the corner of his mouth curl up. But, as soon as he sees it he turns into a petulant pop star hiding all visible signs of happiness from the adoring paparazzi.

I began to freak out a little yesterday when I realized Nolan hasn't had one poopy diaper in nearly 3 days. Apparently it's quite normal for breastfeeding babies to go as many as 8 days without the mustard party in their pants; there is far less waste to get rid of, as opposed to babies who are formula fed. You'd think after having 3 kids I'd know these things.

That's the amazing thing about motherhood, just when you think you know what you are doing you have the startling realization that you don't know...well, shit.

What's something new about parenthood you've discovered?

Snowed in from Boyland,

2 COMMENTS

Makin' News Monday: 86 Teen Pregnancies & Asian Super Mom?

I had a tiring but great weekend. Bryson had a small birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese Saturday, while Tyler celebrated turning 12 by having a sleepover with 2 of his friends and his cousin. My house was once again filled with the sounds of laughing, running and screaming BOYS! It was fun, but exhausting. I'm glad we don't have another birthday until November.

Nolan is now 7 weeks old and smiled for the first time the other day. He is getting so big it's ridiculous. I wish I could blame someone else for his robust 13 lbs, but when he wants to eat, momma feeds him. Thankfully his feeding schedule has decreased from every 2 hours, to nearly every 4. I've felt like a cow being over-milked. With that mental picture in your head, take a look at what's makin' news this Monday.

86 Teens Pregnant at One Memphis High School

According to a story first run by the Associated Press, Frayser high school, in Memphis, Tennessee boasts a staggering rate of teenage pregnancy. It is estimated  that between 15- 20% of their female population has become pregnant in the last year, which is almost twice the national average. In an effort to curb these unplanned pregnancies the school has initiated a program called "No Baby" which helps girls build self-esteem. Their goal is to help Memphis girls say "no" to babies and "no" to unprotected sex. The CEO of Girls Inc.,which founded the program, claims that in the 3 years she has been with the organization only 1 girl has become pregnant.

These statistics are scary. I admire the program for getting to the root of the problem, low-self esteem. I truly believe if young girls valued their bodies and their intellect and were shown the harsh reality of becoming a mother BEFORE they are a woman, they would be less likely to engage in unprotected sex. 

  

How do you think teen pregnancy should be deterred?

Moms Take Issue With Asian Supermom's Style

A new book is causing quite a divide among mothers. The memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua tackles her controversial parenting style as a Chinese mother. In the book, the Yale law professor, discusses how in her home computer games, sleepovers, TV, and grades less then an A are forbidden, being replaced with hours of piano and violin lessons. She attests that intense discipline fuels high performance, a traditional Chinese approach to parenting. In one instance she writes "we worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom." All this to ensure her daughter perfects a violin piece.

I have mixed feelings about this harsh, yet rewarding way of child-rearing. My mother was the type of parent who pushed me to excel in whatever I was naturally good at. She appreciated the value of education for the opportunities it provided, but cared little about the actual grades I received, only that I completed higher education. With my own son I tend to be strict when it comes to his studies because he has proven himself to be a stellar student. I push him to be the best HE can be, which I know is different for every child. While I do believe children will benefit academically from setting high standards, I don't think that is the most important part of raising a well-rounded successful member of society. As the author's children get older they may realize they have missed out on experiences that make life joyful because they were so busy focusing on being the perfect student. I don't think anyone says on their deathbed "I should have practiced the piano more, or gotten all A's in school." To me it's more important to foster a child's natural talents then imposed parental achievements.

Do you think the "Chinese way" of parenting should be adopted by more Americans?

Stuck in Boyland,

 

0 COMMENTS

Your Husband's Secrets Revealed!

Last night I was watching Amercia's favorite t.v. doctor, Dr. Oz with sheer anticipation for the knowledge he was about to drop on me. The topic: Secrets Your Spouse Keeps, five things our husbands wouldn't want us to know. What I was most shocked to learn was that our men actually thought they were keeping this stuff from us. Silly boys.

Are you surprised by these answers?

#1. They think about other women during sex
What!? You mean my flannel pj's and grandma slippers aren't sexy as hell? Nonsense! My husband loves the fact that I've traded my skimpy Victoria's Secret nighties for Old Navy long-johns. Why in the world would he want to imagine being with Minka Kelly when he's got me. It's not like I would ever imagine being seduced by Ryan Reynolds...that would be just crazy.

#2. They masterbate weekly in secret
Duh.


#3. They have snooped through our email or phone
I am shocked by this. Lets get real, most men are not slick enough to clear their internet history much less figure out our email password. I think they should have clarified this secret by saying they snoop but never find anything because they can't figure out how to unlock our phones.


#4. They think they are smarter then us.
Well there is a very good reason for them to think this. We, as women, have this amazing ability to let our husbands believe that they come up with brilliant ideas or make the decisions in the house.  The reality is most of them would be wandering aimlessly around this crazy world if it weren't for us. We know this and so do they, but we would never get anywhere if we tried to overpower them with our awesome intellect. Instead, we let them "fix" things and then call the repair guy or we ask them to fold the laundry and then re-do it the way we like it; it's a complicated dance.


#5. They wish we brought home a bigger paycheck
The idea is to strike a happy medium. We should make enough money so they don't have the pressure of being the sole provider, but not too much where they feel like their friends would make fun of them for having a vagina. Now if only we could get paid for cooking, vacuuming, car-pooling, changing diapers, cleaning up vomit and child-rearing...there's not enough money in the world.


What would your husband be surprised to know?

Keeping it real in Boyland,

2 COMMENTS

Makin' News Monday: No, Please Don't Grow Up

Today is a momentous day on SO many levels. I'm having a hard time digesting the sweeping change that is taking over my home. Last week Bryson turned 5 and now my first baby is one year away from being a teenager....I think I need a bottle of wine.

Twelve years ago I gave birth to Tyler. I was a kid. I knew nothing about the hardships and the joys of motherhood. I had no idea that it would be the most challenging and rewarding thing I would ever do. My life really started when I became his mother. Not because motherhood has taken over every fiber of my being, but because without him I would have aimlessly wandered through my 20's with no purpose.

Tyler is the best first child I could have asked for. He is the type of kid that will announce he is putting himself to bed on weekend, just because he is tired. I could always leave him unattended for a moment as a toddler and be certain when I returned I wouldn't have technicolor paint on my wall. He would meticulously arrange his DVD's and ask to change his shirt if a drop of food soiled it, all this at age 4.

Ty age  6

You could say we kind of grew up together; me from a girl to a woman and him from a boy, to now a young man. I'm so excited to see what kind of a teenager he will be. Don't get me wrong, ugly adolescence has already begun to creep into his voice, his shoe size, and most recently his "whatever" attitude. I have to keep reminding myself that this is normal; my little boy who loved to be tickled and sung lullabys before bed  is no more. He has been replaced with a young man who wears skinny jeans, is embarrassed to let his mother see him in his underwear, and is not-so-patiently awaiting his first kiss.

As the wonderful Linda Richman would say "I'm all faklempt!"

How do you deal with your kids' birthday milestones?

Shedding a Tear from Boyland,

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Bryson's 5th Birthday

You can find a slew of posts on here where I bitch and moan about the endless shenanigans I endure being the mom of 3 boys. I rarely touch on the awesome, sweet, or amazing things they do on a daily basis.

This New Year's Eve while the rest of the world was making resolutions and partying until the break of dawn, my family and I spent a quiet night at home counting down to Bryson's 5th birthday. Every year, since he was born, he has stayed up to watch the ball drop in Times Square and at midnight announce "Happy New Year Birthday!" It's one of the highlights of the holiday because he thinks the world is celebrating his birth!

I still can't it believe it's been 5 years since we welcomed our stinky little man into our family. He's has grown up so much, especially with the addition of Nolan. It seems like yesterday that Bryson looked like this...

Bryson 1 Month Old

I'm so proud to be his mom. He constantly makes me laugh, teaches me to be a better person, and says things so profound I'm almost brought to tears. Here is the sentimental gem Bryson bestowed on us during his birthday toast. (This was 100% unsolicited by the way)





Why are you proud to be a mom?

Feeling Warm and Fuzzy From Boyland,

2 COMMENTS

Boy-overload!

Today has not been a reflection of how I want to attack the rest of the year. I am trying to pull myself out of an exhausted slump brought on by a weekend of New Years festivities, Bryson's 5th birthday (more to come on that), and having my 16 & 20 year old brothers here.

The chaos of Nerf gun bullets wizzing past my head, fighting over whose turn it was to play Mario Kart, and light sabers echoing through each room was enough to make me wish Nolan HAD been a girl.

OK I'm kidding, I wouldn't trade my boys for anything, but sometimes I wouldn't mind having quiet tea parties or playing dress-up with Barbies. Having a house with 6 boys in it this weekend has reminded me that I need more structure in my life. My free flowin approach can sometimes turn my home into a hot mess. If I wanna get shit done this year I really have to step it up and not sleep till 10 everyday. I know being the mom of a 5 week old, a 5 year old, and an 11 year old can take its toll. Everyone says I should get my rest and not worry about getting stuff done (even my lovely husband). I do that for awhile, but then the guilt and disgust that I can't remember when I last showered or that the laundry is piling up sets in. I am realizing its impossible to do it all. 

Ok my pitty party is over, I gotta go fish bullets out from behind my couch.

How have you learned to juggle it all?

Taking a Break in Boyland,

4 COMMENTS