Moms in Boyland's 100th Post!!!

Wow! I went to go spit out a quick note to you all since I've been seriously lacking in the blogging dept, as of late, when I realized that the words that I'm typing, right now, are part of my 100th post here at Moms in Boyland---who knew today would be so momentous!

It's been a crazy week for me. Monday I interviewed one of my favorite people (who luckily happens to be a friend) for an audition video I was making (more on that in a few).

Tuesday I got up at 3am to drive my mom to NYC for hip surgery. That excursion had my stomach in knots all morning. I suddenly became acutely aware that in the last 30 years my mother has had the audacity to age!

I guess I always think of her as perpetually 35 years old. She is my momma, she can do anything. So it came to me like a swift kick in the gut when I realized that after all these years of her taking care of me, it was now my turn to take care of her. Thankfully the surgery went well and she is recovering nicely.

After dragging Nolan to the city on Tuesday (since I'm not ready to leave him with anyone for too long) and sitting/sleeping in a waiting room chair for 4 hours, I was in no shape to go anywhere Wednesday.

Thursday got me all-sorts of choked up when I took Bryson to register for Kindergarten! (I'll reflect on that mind-doozy at a later date). 

Now back to Monday...actually I need to go back about two weeks when I came across an amazing opportunity for me to continue on my path to Oprah-dom. Time Warner Cable is searching for an African American person to host their new on demand show Born to Shine. It's premise is spotlighting African Americans in entertainment, behind the scenes, and in front of the camera. Well look no further, I'm your gal!

Since graduating college, my ultimate dream has been to be on television, interviewing  people from all walks of life. As my hubby can tell you I LOVE to talk, but more importantly people really like talking to me. I think its no accident that I've held MANY bartending jobs in my short time on this earth ---perfect strangers can't wait to tell me all their business and I relish in meeting cool and interesting people.

One of those people is acting veteran Sam Wright. Sam is best known for playing the voice of Sebastian the Crab in Disney's the Little Mermaid, and as the first actor to play Mufasa in the The Lion King on Broadway. I was lucky enough to attend his school, The Hudson Valley Conservatory for Fine Arts when I was 12, and now my son, Tyler, takes drama classes there.

When I heard about Born to Shine, I wanted to make my video stand out from all the others. Sam was kind enough to let me chat with him.

So long story short, I am once again pimping myself out to all my Moms in Boyland readers. If you can show some love by voting for my video via the Born to Shine Facebook page that would be FANTASTIC! The page is a little confusing (you must "allow" the app, click on my video, and then click the blue vote button on the video) but if you can't get through, sending good vibes my way will be equally appreciated.

Please don't mind the constipated look on my face in this screen shot ;-)

 
On that note I'm about finish up my week with a 6 hour long train ride to Buffalo. I know you are thinking "Why in the hell would anyone go to Buffalo with a 4 month old in the snow?". One reason...my BF's baby shower! I'm gonna need a vacation when this week is over!

I know this post has been a rambling mishmash of topics but I want to thank you ALL for helping me make it to my 100th BLOG POST!!! Your comments, "likes" and love is what keeps me going, so THANK YOU!!!!

What would you like to see me write about in the next 100 posts?

Busy in Boyland,

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Barbers and Boogers

I got my hair cut today. Under normal circumstances this would put a spring in my step and cause me to whip my hair back n forth. For me, a new do gives me a confidence boost that some women can find in a pair of shoes or a new hand bag. I love the way it feels as it blows in the wind, like I'm on a shoot of America's Next Top Model. Its soft and luxurious shine nearly causes me to hit the car in front of me as I admire my coiffed locks in the rear-view mirror. Heaven must feel something like this (minus the elderly woman flipping me the bird).

Instead of strutting my stuff, my professionally flat-ironed high has been crushed like Charlie Sheen's career, and my children are to blame. How could those sweet boys be responsible for inflicting such mood altering mayhem on this would-be fabulous day? It involves a pile of snotty of tissues, being quarantined, and taking a plethora of vitamins.

You guessed it, these contaminated children have infected our house with the flu. I kept it at bay for nearly a week, but after taking care of their lethargic feverish germ factories, my body finally just gave up.

I went from this:

 

To this:

Now they are on the road to recovery, and I'm a snotty mess (aside for the cute new haircut). Damn them and their germ carrying little bodies! I'm exhausted, hence the short post, and the marathon of missed Grey's Anatomy episodes I'm about to partake in. If I weren't breast feeding I'd be sipping on a rum and coke too.

When you are sick what makes you feel better?

Congested from Boyland,

3 COMMENTS

Mayim Bialik: You Think Her Hats Were Weird....

'Attachment' parenting seems to have become the mainstream buzz word among people looking for holistic ways to raise their children. This widely used set of rules should not be confused with the psychological attachment theory which defines 4 styles of security in young children. More often then not, I have seen "granola" parents' laissez-faire approach to child-rearing incorrectly point back to this medical research as a way to validate some of their ridiculous behavior.

Pushing to the front of the crazy train is the star of the early 90's show Blossom, Mayiam Bialik, who recently began blogging for Today.com. This former child star has since gotten her PhD in neuroscience, but apparently forgot her degree in Common Sense and Humility.

Mayim Bialik today

I first came across her snarky and condescending personal blog on Kveller.com, which caters to Jewish mothers. The post was entitled:  I Breastfeed My Toddler. Got A Problem With It?. And yes Mayim, I do. But I'll get back to that in a minute.

In the articles I have read, thus far, she uses her degree (which IS impressive) and her "I don't care what you think" attitude to deflect from the fact that she has some parenting techniques even the hippies from Woodstock would question. Among them are:

• 'Please' and 'thank you' are NOT things she requires her kids to say because "I believe that children, like adults (and perhaps better than most adults?), generally know what works for them."

Really Mayim? I am all for letting kids figure things out in their own child-specific time frame, but to think they will magically understand social cues without being told to do so is expecting a lot from a 3 year old. We are supposed to provide them with the groundwork for their future as a contributing members of society by instilling in them a sense of appreciation and gratitude. If they can't grasp utilizing those simple words they will have a hard time seeing the bigger picture. Being polite is not something pre-schoolers "spontaneously" do.

• Having a child that doesn't walk until he is 17 months old or being able to string together 2 word sentences until "well after 3" is completely normal (even though she realizes "By current conventional standards both of my sons qualified for speech, occupational and physical therapy and I gave them none")

So let me get this straight, you admit to ignoring conventional medical advice (something you studied) and refrained from providing your developmentally delayed children any assistance for the sake of letting them progress in their own time. Yes? OK, just making sure I understand.

• "Bed sharing" with two kids is normal because "Mammals sleep with other mammals; we are supposed to do it."

While I agree having your infant, or chronically sick child sleep with you is beneficial for breast feeding and forming bonds, her suggestion that it will not create needy children that can't self-soothe is in my opinion, wrong. Bryson was a very sick baby; needing to be closely watched so that his eczema did not cause him to rip holes in his skin. He slept with us until he was about 2 1/2. Consequently he is an extremely attached child who has a hard time entertaining himself and falling asleep alone now, at age 5. I don't knock her for doing what works for her family on their shared futon mattresses, but in order to maintain any level of intimacy with my husband I believe bed sharing should be reserved for babies and sick kids. Oh and by the way dogs are mammals who eat other animal's feces for the protein, do you suggest we do that too?

• Breast feeding her "almost 2 1/2 years old and he nurses every 3-5 hours during the day and 4-7 times a night."

Can I get a Joey Lawrence "WOAH"? I am a champion for breast feeding mothers-- if time and proximity to their baby allows it. I don't plan on giving Nolan anything other then my natural goodness until he is about 6 months old because I know the health benefits out-way my comfort . How long you breast feed, or if you choose to bottle feed is a personal choice, but I think if a kid can walk up to you and ask for some boob they are too big for it. That's just me. And not to be rude, but you say breast milk is "full of protein, healthy fat, brain-building substances, and vitamins, not to mention immune and antibiotic properties" (which it is). So why if your son exclusively breast fed until he was 15 months old was he not able to roll over until he was 1 or speak until he was 3!?

If you are really looking for ways to incorporate holistic methods of child-rearing that don't create misbehaving, clingy, nursing Kindergartners, then  Dr. Sears' 7 B's are a good place to start. I'm completely in favor of nurturing a well balanced child, but Ms. Bialik's approach, that basically lets children decide what is best for them, to me, does not foster our children's ability to blossom. (sorry for the cheap pun)

What do you think of Mayim Bialik's parenting style?

 Not Boarding This Train from Boyland,





(Nacia's *New* Comment Policy: Leave a comment on any of my posts and I will visit your blog and “share it” in some way: StumbleUpon, Twitter or Facebook . This is my way of saying thank you!)
5 COMMENTS

My Baby Can Eat Your Baby

It seems like all everyone I know is either pregnant or has a new baby. My best friend Jill from college had an adorable girl, named G, eight months ago. The other night we were comparing baby sagas (as only mothers can do). I was amazed that G slept in her own crib, and Jill was astounded that Nolan slept with us. We talked about nursing schedules, she just weened her daughter after returning to work, and I am pretty much an "on-demand" cow. That term takes on a whole new meaning after hearing what she said next.

 I asked Jill how much G weighed, since she was now on both solids and formula. I was not at all prepared for the answer: 16 Pounds!!! I just knew she was mistaken, or that I heard her wrong, because there was no way that my sweet little chubby 3 month old weighted the same thing as her 8 month old baby! What the hell have I been eating to create such a monstrous (yet adorable) baby? It's not like I've been feasting on fried chicken and Mc Flurries -- not today anyway. How could this happen?

Those thighs!

Those chins!!

RUN, it's a GIANT BABY!!!!

Maybe I can get him this:

Don't get me wrong, every extra fatty roll is like a tubby slice of sweet baby pie. I want to bite a chunk out of each of chins and wash it down with a glass of milk because he's so cute. Babies are supposed to be pudgy, right? I must admit my man-baby or as my husband calls him a "maby" out weighs both of my other boys at this age. Nolan looks like he's ready to chug glasses of raw egg like Rocky or take on this kid.

So tell me the truth, can my baby eat your baby?

(Nacia's *New* Comment Policy: Leave a comment on any of my posts and I will visit your blog and “share it” in some way: StumbleUpon, Twitter or Facebook . This is my way of saying thank you!)



Diggin the chub from Boyland,

7 COMMENTS

Breast Feeding: The New Contraception?

Yesterday I had my first appointment with my midwife, Suzanne, since home birthing Nolan. I was excited to see her because we had not spoken since that magical night she was summoned to my house. Though she only came as moral support (since her practice doesn't do home births) we were honored that she still wanted to be a part of our amazing experience.

Aside from getting my yearly check-up (which includes the über uncomfortable Pap Smear) I was there to discuss birth control options with her. In the past I have tried everything from Ortho Tri Cyclen (aka the pill), Depo Provera (a monthly shot), and the Nuva Ring (which is vaginally inserted and removed every three weeks). I had little to no complications with these methods, but wanted to explore all available options (minus condoms, they're mood killers for me).

When breast feeding, it is recommended that women do not take any forms of birth control that contain estrogen. According to Dr. Sears:

Estrogen- containing birth control pills are not considered compatible with breastfeeding since estrogen suppresses milk production.

This rules out the Nuva Ring. Methods, like the pill, that include only the synthetic hormone progestin,  may be linked to changing a child's sexual reproduction or development (though Suzanne believes that they are safe). To me the pill is not an option because I can barely remember to shower everyday, much less take a pill. I'd be knocked up again in no time.

Suzanne suggested I research the Mirena IUD. An IUD (intrauterine device) is a small plastic or copper tube that gets inserted in a woman's uterus by her doctor. It's effectiveness is the same as most other contraceptives, but it lasts up to 5 years.

I never thought I would want something implanted in me for such a long period of time, but the demands of being the mom of three has me strongly reconsidering. But honestly, the idea of having this inside of me long-term, and having no way to remove it, myself, kind of bothers me.

Last night while scouring message boards I came across a method that I almost shrugged off as an "old wives tale". LAM ( lactational amenorrhea method) uses the natural infertility period after giving birth, as long as the woman's period has not returned and she is fully breast feeding. If you meet the criteria below this can be 98-99% effective within the first 6 months.

• Breastfeeding must be the infant’s only (or almost only) source of nutrition. Feeding formula, pumping instead of nursing^[2], and feeding solids all reduce the effectiveness of LAM.
• The infant must breastfeed at least every four hours during the day and at least every six hours at night.
• The infant must be less than six months old.
• The mother must not have had a period after 56 days post-partum (when determining fertility, bleeding prior to 56 days post-partum can be ignored).

Ecological breast feeding, developed by Sheila Kippley, is a stricter version of  LAM, and claims to have a 1% failure rate within the first six months after delivery, and only a 6% thereafter (before getting back a period). The 7 rules are:

1. Exclusively breast feed for the first 6 months

2. Pacify your baby with breasts (only)

3. Don't use bottles or pacifiers

4. Sleep with your baby for night feedings

5. Sleep with your baby for daily nap feeding

6. Nurse frequently and avoid schedules

7. Avoid anything prevents you from being away from your baby

While both methods are appealing, for most women they are not realistic to the demands of working outside the home. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my kids at the present moment. However, if I was working full-time or ever wanted to leave my house without the baby, LAM would not be an option.

I have a lot to think about.

Which form of birth control works best for you?

Contemplating From Boyland,

11 COMMENTS